Some people run to risk. Some people run away from risk. Only if you run to risk can you hope to some day gain its rewards. Running from risk saves you from feeling the sting of disappointment but it teaches you nothing and it rarely results in rewards.
Read moreTIC, TIC or BOOM!
Are you going to blow up or are you going to blow through when you get back to working full-time after the virus?
You’ll blow right through if you practice TIC, TIC. Tenacity, Integrity and Creativity. Everything I read is telling me that the workplace is going to thin out for a while. To keep yourself employed you’ll want to put a lot of TIC into your work.
Read moreThe Human Connection: When We Lost It and How We Can Get It Back
1969. DARPA, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, a branch of the Defense Department, formed the first computer network. It was formed in response to the 1957 Sputnik launch by the Russians. A computer scientist named Leonard Kleinrock led a group of scientists in that year to develop what later became known as the Internet.
Read moreTech Skills + Soft Skills = Long-Term Success
Studies reveal something surprising: Soft skills based in writing, listening and communicating are actually greater predictors of long-term success – even in tech jobs and skilled labor markets.
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Influence in the Workplace
How do we gain influence in the workplace? Generally speaking, people with exceptional skills, people who work in powerful jobs, people who possess a significant title, or people of wealth are thought to have influence. But that's only half the story.
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The Outfluence Vision
Meet our new look and logo. Inspired by the four pillars of our programs, the rings represent bringing understanding to the scattered state of communications in life and business.
Read moreThe Disintegration of Humanity is in View
Like them or dislike them, our nation’s leaders and role models are destroying the way that humanity communicates. Politicians fight with insults and slurs rather than with facts and ideas. Celebrities have made verbal abuse normal (Keeping Up with the Kardashians, anyone?) and negative self image popular (#thinspo or #revengebody for example.)
These people aren’t taking down communication singlehandedly, however. Chances are, a breakdown in communication is happening in your own home. Your own classroom. Around your own dinner table. As families, as friends, we don’t fully relate anymore. The explosion in digital communication has coarsened face-to-face communication and emboldened disrespectful behind-the-screen communication.
These influences are removing the human connection to our relationships and interactions.
Even now, you are sitting behind a screen of some sort to read my blog post. And that could be okay. How do we reintroduce humanity into our daily interactions, while also maintaining a balanced consumption of technology — since it is unavoidable that the world will advance in tech?
DeskAlerts observes that “Poor communications in the workplace can result in friction, frustration, confusion and an extremely tense environment wherein people are not motivated to be productive and are not inspired to collaborate. This lack of motivation can then spill over to how staff members relate to clients and potential customers.”
In the classroom students use negative communication to acquire attention, to fill their desire for power, to gain revenge, to avoid participating in any activity that might lead to failure, as a response to distraction or out of boredom.
There are no quick solutions to our communication dilemma. After much research and experience both in the classroom and in the workplace, we believe the place to begin teaching people how to connect with humanity is the 9th grade of high school. By this point students have experienced enough of life to be able to grasp concepts and implement life skills such as communication.
With our uniquely designed activities and projects, students and teachers discover communication styles and interpretation, and in lively discussions develop stronger communication skills. They put their newly discovered communication skills to work in further training –
· in personal development
· life-planning skills for career planning
· time and financial management
· and much more.
Check out how You Are Here… Now What? our signature program for students can bring humanity out of the communication dark ages, and into the new ever changing world.
Tendencies are Your Silent Communicators
"William McGirt, you just won the Memorial Tournament, your first win on the PGA Tour. How did you do it?"
"Well, I've been close several times before. I recognized that my tendency was to speed up when under pressure. So this week I focused on slowing things down."
We learn so much from the experiences of others. If we listen carefully, little nuggets like "tendencies under pressure" resonate loudly. Tendencies to speed up are the result of lack of confidence, inadequate preparation, insufficient knowledge of a subject, inexperience and other reasons. But I believe those four are the primary reasons why we tend to speed up when we are under pressure.
I remember early in my public speaking days I tended to speak very quickly. In my mind I tended to speak quickly because I had so much information to share, I was afraid I couldn't fit it into the time allotted. Really it was poor preparation.
Tendencies are great teachers. One of the things they teach us is that failure is the result of doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. In my case, after speaking publicly and not feeling good about the result, I spoke to some experts on the topic of public speaking, specifically about my concern, and they coached me to overcome my tendency.
Sometimes we just need the perspective of an outsider, an uninvolved third party, someone emotionally detached from the situation to look at what we are doing and voice an opinion. A good business coach will teach the principles of Constant Messaging© and Silent Communication from the perspective of the receiver as well as the sender which may uncover those tendencies before they cause more failure.
A business mentor once told me that when negotiating the wise negotiator will make a statement and then sit silently. The weak adversary will tend to feel the need to fill the air with words. Chances are he or she will reveal something in that moment that the savvy negotiator can use strategically later. Maybe what is revealed is simply the tendency to react too quickly.
So much happens in silent moments.
Will Robots Need the Soft Skills, Too?
I read an article this morning about robotics. It is estimated that 30% of the workforce in Europe will be replaced in the next 20 years. The United States will face the charge of the robotics brigade, too. A number of restaurants are already considering the move to robotic servers. Even lawyers are not immune to robotics entering their world. This article will tell you more. You can also find it here, http://bit.ly/1YZ3zUa.
If and when this move to robotics occurs in what I call the regular workplace, in other words the middle class, opportunities for humans may become limited, and those opportunities that are available will demand ever-increasing amounts of skills. No longer will humans be able to climb the ladder from entry level positions to higher-paying positions over a number of years. In the future humans will need to advance their skills and look sideways for advancement. This will require excellent communication skills and inspired performance every day.
I listened to the McDonald's robot accepting a service order from a customer. The robot was polite and helpful, and even had a smile on its face. The robot's designers seem to have built into the robot soft skills very often found lacking in their human counterparts. I must say I was pretty impressed by what I was seeing from this early version. What could possibly be next?
My grandchildren, your grandchildren, and possibly some of your children will be facing robotic competitors in their workplace. Some humans are already sharing the workplace with robots. The jobs the robots take will likely be gone from human attainment forever. So where does that leave us? It leaves us with a highly technical, very competitive workforce. Skills such as effective communication of all kinds - oral, silent, written, body language - and inspired performance that gains an advantage for its practitioner - as well as the Outfluence form of teamwork called The Silent Storm will be sought after by employers. The unprepared, uncaring, disinterested employees of today will not, are not now, being tolerated. The move is afoot to change.
Many park benches, seaside lounges and oceanfront arcades will be filled with unemployed citizens who ignored the call to action this article is calling for. It's time to train yourself and your young family members communication and performance skills that will be needed to compete in the years ahead. Outfluence is offering community-based small group training to help you prepare for the changes that are arriving as you read this article. Contact us attraining@outfluence.com for additional information.
10 Old Ideas, For a New Generation
Stay close to your family. Silent communication principles of Outfluence can help to translate family dynamics before emotions get in the way. Silence is not just nothingness. There is meaning in silence. Stay close to family situations by learning to read silence.
Read often. Reading=knowledge=perspective=understanding=opportunity.
Make a friend. Smile, extend your hand, say hello.
Dream and pursue. Positive aspirations underwritten by strong belief and supported by hard work will bring dreams to fruition.
Respect your country. Perfection doesn’t live here but you and I do. Love, fight for, and respect your country and its citizens. Put your country and your neighbors first.
Build your foundation. Outfluence principles enable you to develop the intellectual, physical, and emotional strength to create a vision for your life and then build that life for you and for those you love. Stabilize your life by building a strong foundation.
Mentor someone. Use your life experiences to ignite another person’s passions.
Be a positive force. You reap what you sow.
Inspire your performance. “Be so good that they can’t ignore you.” - Steve Martin
Have faith. Believe that Outfluence behaviors and principles will energize your life and the lives of those around you.
Psst... Pass It On.
"HE WHO ANGERS YOU OWNS YOU ." FATHER OF DOC RIVERS, NBA PLAYER AND COACH.
My wife and I were grocery shopping. A young boy was standing idly in front of a customer ticket-generating machine we wanted to access. My wife, in a gentle, friendly manner said "Excuse me, sir, may I sneak in front of you for a second?" The little boy looked up at her as he stepped aside, and she said "I like your hat." The little boy smiled and said thank you.
Now, this was a perfectly innocent exchange. The little boy learned how to interrupt someone in a positive way and he had a nice moment with an adult. The two adult women with him didn't see it that way. They looked at my wife with daggers in their eyes and, as the saying goes, if looks could kill . . .
This event occurred weeks post-Ferguson and days post-New York City, both locations having experienced police-involved deaths.
25 years earlier a similar incident happened to my wife in a grocery store. Two young children were shopping with their mother. My wife struck up a conversation with them. Their mother accurately interpreted the silent communicators of friendship and sincerity and she used her life experiences in a positive way and chose to recognize an opportunity for friendship. Those two children eventually graduated from college and became life-long friends of our family.
What are we passing on to our children? Are we passing on the mistakes of our predecessors or are we teaching them how to build on the blocks of success that have been achieved in the midst of fits of violent disharmony?
In our program for high school students titled "You Are Here . . . now what?" we teach communication from the perspective of the sender of the message as well as from the perspective of the receiver of the message, and we spend time discussing the art of crafting a message. We meet with the students for one hour per week. Communication is taught over an entire semester each of the four high school years. We cover communication in great detail, all types of communication, and we bolster it with activities. When we are finished, students are armed with the tools needed to accurately interpret messages and they are able to respond appropriately.
I will never forget a lesson learned early in life. An elderly gentleman told me, "Son, you will always get exactly what you're looking for." What he meant was if you are looking to pick a fight with someone you will find a reason to fight. If you are looking to overlook imperfections and make a friend, you will find a way to make a friend. The youngest among us are looking to adults as examples of how to live life. We are certainly not perfect examples. We make mistakes. Our children will learn our lessons, good and bad, as we pass them on.
For additional information about Outfluence, LLC or to learn how to bring You Are Here . . . Now What? to your high school, visit our Contact Page, and drop us a line.
What Not To Do
A videographer arrived at a legal proceeding dressed in tennis shoes, blue jeans, open-collared shirt, and no sport coat. All of the other professionals were attired appropriately in business suits and related professional apparel. During a recess in the proceeding, the videographer engaged one of the parties in a conversation in which he expressed the fact that he only did legal video to keep busy, that his real passion was in making television pilots. He said, in language that matched the subject matter in vulgarity, that he was currently working on a pilot following the tasteless and crude Girls Gone Wild format. By his insensitivity to the environment in which he was working, the videographer silently branded himself as unprofessional, vulgar, and possibly untrustworthy.
The bottom line? Maintain professionalism, no matter what. Be aware of how you come across, to anyone, because everyone is watching.
(This is a story from Outfluence, The Better Way to Influence, which is the basis for our high school program You Are Here . . . now what?".)
Knowledge is Power: Communication History
We enjoy our traditions. Traditions in communication have a fascinating history. In America, and in many other countries, business greetings begin with a handshake. This is a Western tradition with origins in ancient Greece or the Middle East. They shook hands as a way of making a pledge. In Russia the handshake is more of a form of male competition - a sign of confidence and power. In the United States the earliest handshakes were between tribes. They were open-handed to demonstrate that neither party was carrying a weapon.
Perhaps our favorite communicator is the kiss. In its earliest days the kiss, or bringing mouths together, signified the joining of two souls. In ancient Hebrew the word for breath also means soul. Ancient Egyptians thought of kissing as the giving of breath, or giving life. The Romans are credited with turning the kiss into a sophisticated form of communication.
The study of body language gained interest in the latter part of the 20th Century both academically and among the general public. However, in the history of body language Francis Bacon got us started. Francis Bacon was an English philosopher, politician and scientist. In a website titled "all-about-body-language" I found this: Writing in Of the Proficience and Advancement of Learning, Divine and Human - first published in 1605 - Bacon had the following to say about gestures of the body when discussing the concept of knowledge of ourselves.
Aristotle hath very ingeniously and diligently handled the factures of the body, but not the gestures of the body, which are no less comprehensible by art, and of greater use and advantage. For the lineaments of the body do disclose the disposition and inclination of the mind in general; but the motions of the countenance and parts do not only so, but do further disclose the present humour and state of the mind and will.
For as your majesty saith most aptly and elegantly, “As the tongue speaketh to the ear so the gesture speaketh to the eye.” And, therefore, a number of subtle persons, whose eyes do dwell upon the faces and fashions of men, do well know the advantage of this observation, as being most part of their ability; neither can it be denied, but that it is a great discovery of dissimulations, and a great direction in business.
In our book Outfluence®, The Better Way to Influence, we added Constant Messaging® to the lexicon. Constant Messaging broadens the body language concept to include the messages we send to others from what we read, what we watch, our associations, our habits, our vocabulary and more.
